Welcoming an au pair into your home is more than hiring childcare — it’s the beginning of a unique cultural exchange and a potential long-term bond. Establishing a strong relationship with your au pair not only helps create a positive atmosphere in your home, but also enhances the experience for everyone involved, especially your children. Whether this is your first time hosting or you’re a seasoned host family, fostering a great relationship with your au pair is essential. Here’s how to build that foundation from the start.
Set Clear Expectations Early On
Before your au pair even arrives, take the time to clarify expectations. Open communication about duties, schedules, house rules, and lifestyle habits can prevent misunderstandings later on. It’s helpful to create a welcome packet or handbook that outlines your family’s routines, emergency contacts, meal preferences, screen time rules, and anything else that will help the au pair understand your household.
During the first week, have a thorough orientation. Show them how to use appliances, discuss daily routines, and introduce them to your neighborhood. Don’t assume anything is too obvious — even cultural differences in how laundry is done or meals are prepared can lead to confusion. The more you explain upfront, the more comfortable your au pair will feel jumping into their new role.
Embrace Cultural Exchange
One of the greatest benefits of having an au pair is the opportunity for cultural exchange — for both your family and the au pair. Make space for them to share their customs, holidays, food, and traditions. Encourage your children to ask questions and learn a few words in your au pair’s native language. This two-way exchange builds mutual respect and appreciation.
A great way to get connected with experienced and well-matched au pairs is through the Cultural Care au pair program. Programs like this are designed to support both the host family and the au pair throughout the journey. They provide resources, training, and local representatives who can offer guidance when needed. Choosing a program with a strong support system ensures that your relationship with your au pair is built on a solid foundation.
To deepen your bond, you could even ask your au pair to cook a traditional dish from their country once a month or teach your family a popular game or song from their childhood. These little moments add richness to the experience and foster a sense of shared adventure.
Communicate Openly and Frequently
Regular, open communication is the key to any successful relationship, and it’s especially important when living together. Set up weekly check-ins to talk about how things are going — what’s working, what’s challenging, and how everyone is feeling. These chats don’t need to be long, but they should be consistent and honest.
During these conversations, offer constructive feedback and invite your au pair to share their own suggestions or concerns. Make sure they feel heard and respected. If there’s a conflict or tension, address it quickly and calmly before it escalates. Many small issues can be resolved with a little understanding and compromise.
Include Your Au Pair in Family Life
While your au pair is an employee in one sense, they’re also a temporary member of your household. Including them in family dinners, weekend outings, and celebrations goes a long way in making them feel at home. These moments help build genuine connections and show that you value them as a person, not just as a caregiver.
That said, also respect their time off. Your au pair needs personal space and freedom to explore their host country, make friends, and unwind. Support their independence while making sure they feel welcome to join in when they choose.
Show Appreciation and Recognition
Gratitude can transform a good relationship into a great one. A simple thank-you, a handwritten note, or a kind word at the end of a long day can mean a lot. Celebrate their milestones — whether it’s completing their language class, learning to drive locally, or just doing an exceptional job with your kids.
Recognizing your au pair’s contributions not only boosts their confidence, but also encourages them to continue giving their best. Consider small gestures like a birthday surprise, a framed photo from their time with your family, or involving them in planning a fun trip.
Creating a strong relationship with your au pair takes time, patience, and genuine interest in their well-being. But the rewards — a happy home, enriched cultural experiences, and lasting friendships — are absolutely worth the effort. With open hearts and open minds, your family and your au pair can build a connection that goes far beyond the program’s duration.
